For every Muslim wife it is important to know her role in establishing a harmonious relationship with her husband according to the Quran and the Sunnah (traditions of the Prophet [may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him]). The characteristics and behaviours of the Western (& Eastern) cultured wives has become the cause for many marital break-ups. This is of no surprise, the women of the west are encouraged to go against nature and compete with man in his role i.e. providing, authority etc.
In Islam there is no clash or competition between the Husband and Wife, both are different genders and both have unique roles. For those sincere women that wish to adhere to Islam must know and carry out the following duties:
1. Obeying the Husband
The sign of a righteous woman is that she obeys her husband in all matters that Islam has permitted to the best of her ability, Allah (SWT) said,
“…the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands)…” 4:34
The Messenger of Allah gave glad tidings to those righteous women that obey their husbands, he (SAW) said,
“If the women offer prayers fives times a day, protect their honour and chastity and remain faithful to her husband, she may enter paradise by whatever gate she desires” reported in Taghreeb ul Tarheeb.
Those wives who are rebellious and disobedient towards their husbands will not have their supplications answered, for Muhammad (SAW) said,
“There are two types of person whose prayer will not rise above their heads; a slave who deserts his master until he returns back to his service and a women who shows disobedience to her husband until she abstains from this behaviour” reported in Taghreeb ul Tarheeb.
2. Showing Gratefulness to the Husband
Displaying gratitude, appreciation and complementing the husband for his acts will generate respect and strengthen the loving bond for the husband towards his wife. However, those women that are ungrateful will be from those that are failures, as Muhammad (SAW) said,
“Allah will not look at a woman who is not thankful to her husband despite the fact that she can not get along without her husband” reported in Nisa’i
3. Seeking Permission from the Husband
Allah (SWT) bestowed the power of authority to the husband, and it is his role to provide for his wife, in return the wife must be obedient towards her husband. One of the ways in which obedience is administered is by seeking the permission of the husband when leaving the house (i.e. going out to visit family, friends, shopping etc.) or inviting someone to the house, Muhammad (SAW) said,
“It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah to invite a man into her house whose visit is disapproved of by her husband, or that she should go out of her house without her husbands will, or that she should obey the will of someone else in opposition to her husbands wishes” reported in Taghreeb ul Tarheeb.
4. Looking After the Wealth of The Husband
The wife is the guardian over the wealth of her husband. She is responsible for it’s maintenance by not being wasteful and squandering his wealth/money; and each person will be accounted for each action they commit.
5. Preserving Herself
The righteous wife must guard her honour and chastity from any hands from touching her, eyes from looking at her and any ears from listening to her. Unlike in the West where the women have become public properties and free for all to touch and view, Islam ordains women to protect her honour.
6. The Husbands Welfare Must Be Looked After
Every righteous wife should be devoted towards pleasing her husband by displaying the best form of conduct by words and deeds. Even if she is in difficulty she should always ensure her husbands happiness and this is the path to the pleasure of Allah and admittance to paradise, Muhammad (SAW) said,
“The women that dies in a state that her husband was entirely satisfied with her will certainly enter paradise”.
Unfortunately, most women are not interested in achieving paradise and the good pleasure of Allah; rather many prioritise excelling in worldly adornments (i.e. Fashion accessories, make-up, houses and clothing etc).
7. Fulfil the Husbands Needs
Both the husband and wife have a right to having intimate relationship. The wife should maintain good relationship and fulfil her husband’s desires. The women should not give the evils of society a chance to corrupt her husband and turn towards sin, Muhammad (SAW) said,
“When a man calls his wife to fulfil his urges and she declines and for this reason her husband remains angry with her all night, the angels send their curses upon the wife until dawn” reported in Bukhari.
8. Look after the Husbands Children
In Islam the mother is also known as the teacher, and it is her role to look after her husbands children and develop the Islamic identity in them, Muhammad (SAW) said,
“…the wife is the guardian and is responsible for her husbands house and offspring” reported in Bukhari and Muslim